Celebrating 50 years … a family weekend

Our wedding photo tells the truth: Derryl and I were mere children when we vowed “I do, I will”. Fifty years later, thinking about this ‘crazy-big-number ‘milestone, I’m excited to share a photo-story of our celebration with family, and community friends who have become our Nova Scotia family‘. Without meaningful relationships beyond ourselves, this day could never have been as rich or meaningful.

Three months prior to October 19, 2023 – the same span of time in which we planned our wedding – we emailed out invitations to “save the date, come celebrate with us!” I would plan the food – no other contenders for that. We hosted the party at the Sanctuary – the name for our home – which limited the number of guests we could squeeze in. Deciding to cook the main course food and to purchase desserts and baquettes from local bakers to round out the menu, a few days prior to the event I made a robust chili (thanks to a special friend for the recipe) and froze for reheating on party day. With my in-house helpers – a conscription of efficient family members – we added a huge coleslaw salad and cut a mountain of farm-grown carrot sticks. The above, along with the contributions of guests’ yummy salads, we had plenty of delicious food: accompanied with locally-pressed apple cider, a collection of red and white wines, a cooler with chilled drinks, coffee and tea. Half a carrot cake remains in the freezer and will be gone before Christmas – definitely not preserving it for another ‘big anniversary number’.

Full disclosure, I lost more than a few hours sleep stressing about the food, but in my years of experience with food prep and hospitality I’ve come to count on the jitters to keep me sharp! Yes, we had some glitches the morning of the party but “mum’s the word about those” – nothing too crazy that my creative, best-ever, family-team couldn’t help fix. xoxo

A party is more than bread and wine. Our daughter Renee made decorations; planned a short program which included a couple mixer games to determine who knew Derryl and Karen the best and how much did things cost in 1973; a couple music selections giving it a bona fide East Coast kitchen party feeling! She was a sounding board for my ideas and questions, mc’d the flow of the evening. Our son Brad drove from South Carolina: helping on the day of to move and rearrange furniture to seat thirty-plus people, was on call for running errands and doing behind-the-scenes stuff I’m not aware of.

“Big thanks, kids.”

A bonus to the party morning’s kitchen kaffuffle was a rehearsal for Derryl’s last minute special request to add to the planned program. Bryan Adam’s Everything I Do (I Do It For You): a duet by son Brad on the keyboard and son-in-law Damien on the electric guitar: Some of the best things – and for the performers, the scariest – are the last minute impulses! It was amazing; made my heart sing!

Our wedding attire: after fifty years lying in the cedar chest is appropriately wrinkled!

From a combined potential of ten siblings – who live in Alberta, British Columbia or Minnesota, USA – Derryl and I were honoured to welcome four of them to our celebration. Daniel Toews, Rebecca Straforelli and Ruth Vandenberg….

… and my sister Ruth Langerud (and her husband, Eldon).

Of our six young adult grandchildren, we were grateful to have one join us for the fun. Joah happened to be here working with his Papa in October. Which for him, included more than one motorbike jaunt with ‘the boss – and hanging out with the ‘old guys.’!

The night before the party was more relaxing than a wedding rehearsal! Brother-in-law Eldon and son-in law Damien jammed on the guitars they’d brought from home, some of us singing along … knitting. Pretty chill.

“Fifty years married” doesn’t easily roll off my tongue. This ‘big number’ doesn’t mentally feel like a fit for people who still do spontaneous fun things, are loyally crazy in love with each other, give space to each other’s needs for independent adventures they enjoy. A party guest asked what’s helped us stay together. Put on the spot, Derryl hesitated – and regardless of my inner writer preferring to mull over thoughts before putting them out to the world – I jumped in with something close to this. You get up every day and keep going together. Our life together has had good – often great – times; it’s also had challenges – some for extended stretches, downturns in our construction business, physical health hurdles. But we have valued our relationship, and commitment, for the long run. “I love this guy” is my bottom line. Some things I forgot to add that night, but are key for us in our hearts and mindset, we didn’t have a plan B. (Not saying that irreparable things can happen in marriage relationships.) We work things out. And we have a common rock in our union: a personal knowing and trust in the Creator-God who loves us all.

We did have a plan for children. Renee and Brad and their families are the cherished treasures of our hearts.

This is us.

Thank you for scrolling through these pics (gratitude and photo credits to family and friends for sharing their ‘takes’ on the weekend) and reading our story, one that by the grace of God, continues to unfold.

Love from Me and Mine

Karen