The kindness theme has been following me around for a few days.

Finally, after a cheery little girl (about 4 or 5 years old) heaved open a heavy glass door for me to enter a store, I knew I needed to write about this gift of kindness!

The very word kindness evokes a sense of warmth and goodness – just give yourself a hug to reinforce how wonderful kindness can make you feel! Please stay with me ’til the end of the post – for spreading kindness full circle back to YOU – with my Downloadable Freebie 

Let’s Just Be a Little Kinder in the Ways We Can

Katrina Kenison, author of several books (referral link), has written through her seasons of re-scripting life and shared this in her Kindness blog .

“….we cannot make pain and suffering disappear. We can’t control the hurtful actions of others or silence the voices that threaten, humiliate, insult, or shame. We cannot solve the opioid crisis, keep the desperate family together at the border, slow the arctic melt, or prevent the disturbed teenager from killing his classmates. We can bring more kindness into the world…”

What Can you Give From Your Hand or Your Pocket?

I just love Ann Voskamp’s writing style, here are some of her wise, kind words from The Broken Way,(referral link):

“… If your hand was willing, you could pull out [of your pocket] a small miracle, a small gift – a note that made a soul stronger, a cup of something warm to soothe someone’s knotted places, a hand to help someone up, open arms just to embrace the overwhelmed and whisper grace“.

Voskamp (a sage, in my view) skillfully expands this giving kindness thought: including a research reference, how kindness, “having a helping behaviour seemed to buffer the negative effects of stress.” Isn’t that great how that works? A kindness partnership: stretching from our heart, or our pocket – or pushing hard to open a door.

(credits to Bella Vita)

Use YOUR Kindness Voice

What does your kindness, love language look like?

• preparing a meal for the family of someone who’s mid-stream in cancer treatments
• watering the vacationing neighbour’s flowers that look ready to crawl to the tap
• phoning – or driving – to talk to a friend or family member you’ve lost touch with
• sharing cards and notes with inspirational messages….

It’s great when we feel we’ve discerned a meaningful way to show kindness, but here too, doing life is not about being perfect, that you have to get it right or not at all. Give from the gift of who you are.

If you’re interested in discovering your love language (and for others in the household too!) check out Gary Chapman’s helpful book (referral link).

Full Circle Back to You

What are the ways you show yourself kindness? Have you hugged yourself yet today? Do it now!

The message about the value of caring for ourself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually is everywhere.

I also know that too often energy or spirit is lagging and I’m not anxious to offer my husband a back rub, or talk on the phone with a friend who’s had a rough day, or give myself slack for having too much sunlight in the room while shooting my LIVE video!

I believe the starting point is: what are we thinking, as our thoughts direct our days. To help you establish a practice for a mindset and ‘kindness lifestyle’ that you can grow with, I am excited to gift you with my free Renewing your Mindset for Vibrant Living

If this Kindness message has inspired you, or if you have a kindness story (given or received) to share, I’d love to hear from you!

Love and gratitude,

Karen

P.S. As always, if you want to talk about rejuvenating your life with healthy food, getting more active, moving towards purposeful living at any age, I’m available at ketoews@gmail.com or here.

(Affiliate Disclosure: I am a participate in affiliate marketing, including the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Whenever you buy something on Amazon from a link you click on my blog, I get a (very) small percentage of that sale.)

Mindset: the established set of attitudes held by someone; a mental inclination, frame of mind; a way of thinking…..

The book I’m reading has been waiting on a shelf a long time! I finally got into Mindset – The New Psychology of Success (author Carol Dweck -referral link) after a friend shared these focal premises:

• a fixed mindset is “believing your qualities are carved in stone”; one that can keep you trapped and threatened by the success of others.
• a growth mindset is “believing your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts”; one that can bring you a richer, more alive and inspired life.

For me, this book has not been a page-turner. I find the content dense and the chapters  written in a cumbersome format. However, I am munching my way through, intent to learn how to develop a growth mindset. The following notes are practical tips for any age and stage, (and I quote):

• intelligence can be developed
• with a desire to learn rather than look smart, work for achievement by:
  • embracing challenge
  • persisting in the face of setbacks
  • viewing effort as the way to improvement
  • learning from criticism
  • finding tips and inspiration from other’s successes

As I said, pretty “heady” reading so to balance it out I’ve read two memoirs that had me hooked.  The powerful agent of mindset for amazing resilience and determination over extreme odds in both of them was my inspiration for this post.

First was Hope Heals (written by Katherine Wolf and Jay Wolf, referral link), recommended by my daughter, Renee Tougas. I gobbled this book up. In the final two paragraphs of her blogpost Renee shares how the essence of Hope Heals impacted her (which I think many of us can relate to) – beginning with a brief synopsis:

“.. a story of a young mother’s life-threatening massive brain stem stroke, her subsequent disabilities and physical recoveries…a story of loss and hope, suffering and faith.”

 “How would I handle such a difficult circumstance?” can’t help but be a question from the reader, and in this story’s excruciating conditions – a physical sense being only one way – one could feel the pain as the pendulum swung between the two mindsets.

The young mother, 26-year-old Katherine, did (does) have a strong faith foundation along with a loving and supportive family. But to dig deep into the place where ‘rules of the game’ suddenly were reversed (a daily energetic run switched out for a stroke and a wheelchair-walker combo!); a growth mindset and determination played a huge role in her outstanding recovery, as well as their family staying intact – with ultimately having another child!

The second one: Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island (author Regina Calcaterra,referral link). This was almost unbelievable reading from my framework of growing up secure and loved.

The set of players: five siblings, biological and foster parents, social workers and teachers and other authority figures. It’s amazing these siblings survived – a story of shifting circumstances and mindsets. Regina – one of the five and author of the book –   was particularly ‘chosen’ for abuse but so driven by a mental will, commitment and love to struggle and endure to keep the family together at almost any cost.

The outcomes of these stories invoked victory and hope and respect: won through pain and sacrifices (that are on-going), that God-willing I hope will not be my personal journey to walk. And hopefully neither for you.

But for certain, our lives will be daily altered and affected by our mindset. I encourage you to commit to grow in the one that will be your path to your endless potential.

Love and gratitude,

Karen

P.S. As always, if you want to talk about challenges and joys with mindset, healthy lifestyle, moving towards purposeful living at any age, please email me at ketoews@gmail.com or contact me here.

Thank you for prairie landscape photo: sister, Ruth Langerud.

(privacy policy and affiliate disclosure: I am a participate in affiliate marketing, including the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Whenever you buy something on Amazon from a link you click on my blog, I get a (very) small percentage of that sale.)   

Plenty of press time is given for “learn to say NO!” Oh yes, that is a valuable tool for managing expectations and pressure; I try to practice it and coach clients to do likewise. But defaulting to an automatic NO response to everything can hold us back from discovering freedom, creativity, adventure – even some chaos can be exciting in its own way!

Let’s look at 5 ways to inspire and revive life by saying YES.

#1. Declare a courageous YES! to your dream. What is it – to play the drums, sketch a self-portrait, go backpack hiking, start a new business, take a solo road trip, drive a motorbike, speak at your photography club……?  When I was at the peak of my running game I wanted to do something “meaningful” using that passion. I was able to convince my runner-husband that we should do a fund-raiser and it had to be something “out there” to encourage people to donate! The end result was us running in an ultra-marathon in South Africa to raise funds for a mission/ friends in Mozambique. We didn’t have a definite plan or experience before we started (other than having logged many miles running!) but jumping in with a YES brought confidence, understanding and ‘figuring it out’ – and a whack of family and friends donated to help build a small clinic!  Say yes; take ownership of your dream!

#2. If you sense something missing in your life – take action! Whether it’s a literal change in location or a figurative move – say YES to push-through to realize your vision, your goals.  A friend (a dear sister-in-law) wanting to support her physical and spiritual health – in spite of a full life-and-work schedule – said yes to organizing a walk-and-talk group. This has opened a network of energized and active women receiving and sharing support: by connecting with and serving other busy women in her church-community. 

#3. Maybe you’ve been disappointed with stalled work projects, challenges in a relationship, frustrated by emotional eating habits , or a myriad of other obstacles. You feel broken. Say YES to your growth, healing and recovery. Pause, evaluate and connect: through nature walks, prayer, a spiritual director, inspirational reading, a rest. These life and spirit-giving resources can boost joy, hope and resilience. From my experience, a period of connecting with a counselor or coach can help you dig deeper on focus and clarity; a life-changer for personal, relational, or work reasons.

#4. Say YES to consistent work, allowing time : this clears the path for progress. Be okay with purposeful ‘long and steady’ movement towards a particular direction – your goal(s).  Fast-track methods don’t work to train for a marathon, keep 25 pounds off longterm, or rescript life after an empty nest!  Change is not going to happen overnight, let the pressure go; enjoy the beauty of the trip.

#5. Say YES to finding “the dance for your life“. Messages sent to the brain by negative, discouraging thoughts and attitudes influence choices and actions that can make you feel stuck, unhealthy and without purpose.  Neuro-scientific research supports that by changing our thoughts, we can “rewire our brain in the direction we were designed to go.” Author Dr. Caroline Leaf in Switch on Your Brain translates modern brain science into language we all can understand.  Based from a biblical perspective, her process for getting control over thoughts could “help your dance move to its authentic rhythm”!

Are you ready to say YES to your Vibrant Life?

It could be one of the “high-five” ways I’ve suggested, or something else.

I’d love to hear how it is going for you; remember if you want to talk directly, I’m available at ketoews@gmail.com or here.

love and gratitude,

Karen

(Affiliate Disclosure: I am a participate in affiliate marketing, including the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Whenever you buy something on Amazon from a link you click on my blog, I get a (very) small percentage of that sale.)